Prayer

There is one thing that has really been weighing on my mind lately.
It is there when I lie down at night and prayer my heart out, but then as I wake up and see my husband's sleepy head beside me when the alarm goes off, it is there as well. Its there as Kenneth and I do our part with the church youth group, but it is there when I least expect it also.

Call it baby fever if you'd like, but I have been constantly dealing with the strong desire in my life to have a child. I have been "trying" for a year now with no luck. I know this fails in comparison to others in bloggy world, so I try not to speak up about it here, thus more bloggy breaks than normal at random times because I just can't bring myself to clear my head from this topic to throw anything else together.

Kenneth and I recently went on a trip with the in-law's, as I am yet to share the pics and details of because I am such a procrastinator, but we saw pregnant ladies EVERYWHERE!! It seemed like every street corner, every restaurant, every place we went while we were there, there was some couple joyfully expecting.. and it pulled at my heart string with every bubble belly I saw.

I watched Kenneth with children and know that he would be such a wonderful father.. I always have thought myself to have been married in my early 20's and have a child soon after.. with hopes of three children. Now, I struggle thinking I may not even make it to the one. I have always pictured myself as becoming a good mother.. a fun mother at a young age.

I know that God has great things in store for hubby and I. I great up in church and from the time I was small, I have felt the hand of the Lord guiding my life. At times, maybe stronger than others. There have been times I have been so close to the Lord, I could literally feel his whisper in my ear. There have been other times when I have struggle to hear his direction, but all the while, I knew he is there and is guiding my life and the direction he would have me go. His will for my life, and Kenneth's as my soulmate, will lead us to becoming wonderful parents one day.. in his time and in his manner. I know there is a reason for the slower than desired timing, but I believe that if you ask, you will receive.. if you submit yourself and pour out unto the Lord, your requests will not return void.

However, I ask you to keep us in your prayers as we venture on our journey.. asking for strength through the hard times, clarity through the unclear and seemingly hopeless times, and faith to keep believing..

Today, I was blogsurfing and ran across my sister-in-law Amy's post over at Chapters. If you aren't already a follower, you should check her out. She provides a very fun, quirky look into the chapters of her life with my half-brother, DW to a very large and seemingly growing group of followers. Today's post, however, really drew me in as she spoke about herself being in an "abusive relationship" with infertility. It was speaks to me as she pours her heart out about this subject but it is one very dear to me as I venture on our journey to becoming parents ourselves.

So, if you haven't yet wandered over to check her out, do so. I promise you won't regret it... and continue to remember Amy and DW... as well as Kenneth and I.. and all the other multitudes that struggle with these issues daily.