As parents, we have been given one of the world's biggest blessings and have been entrusted to raise these tiny little humans to be successful, kind, and loving. Where it gets difficult is somewhere between "If Johnny has 3 apples.." and Little Susie bullying your baby over a haircut that she just wishes her family would get for her. How do you teach these littles to be kind when so many people and things around them aren't at all.
The amount of stress involved in raising these little bundles of love is astronomical. There's daily stresses of caring for them, taking on homework duties and nursing when they are sick.. to extracurriculars sprinkled with raging hormones and hurt feelings that you have no clue how to even deal. Surely somebody out there feels me. It's hard.
Add into that, dealing with other avenues that aren't even within your job description. Many families today have been ravaged by addictions, life-changing mental health issues, complex medical needs, and devasting losses of children. We are all dealing with our own stresses, but how do you explain that to your children as they make their way through this difficult world, and how do we as parents make it through this time of not knowing how to help your children while still ensuring yourself that you are doing a good enough job?
Above all else, know that you are capable of this. Your child needs a whole lot from you everyday, but you have been entrusted to meet their needs, and you are able. You were given this particular child at this particular time in your life for a reason. You are equipped and you can do this. Remember that.
Try to see the positives and point out the strengths. Realize that every person has strengths, though it might be hard to find them in all the weakness. If we can somehow take the time to look deeper under the possibly many layers, every person and every family has strengths in the most amazing places. Sometimes we need reminding of that.. underneath it all, there is good. In the biggest struggles of your life, there is always good. We just have to take a step back, get that big breath of fresh air, calm those nerves to find it. When in the biggest challenges, there is always a positive. We just have to choose to find it. In the words of Aristotle, "It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light."
Remind your child that life is full of challenges. Use this as a teaching moment. This is a child-size problem they view just as big as the ones we face everyday because, well, it is huge in their eyes. Make sure they see daily that you believe they can conquer what is at hand. If they believe they can, then they probably will, mama. Everyday is a part of the journey of life. We must learn to just get through today. Yesterday is done and tomorrow hasn't gotten here. Live in the present and do your best today. Tomorrow will worry about itself.
Give your babies the biggest love you can. Let it be crazy, unshakable, and unconditional love. Hold them to your expectations and limits, but love the snot out of them.
Seek help. From bullying kids to trouble with class assignments, there is appropriate personnel that are equipped to help with these issues. It takes a village to raise a child, right? Sometimes you might find it necessary to reach out for help with whatever the issue is your child is dealing with.. and that's ok. Actually, it's expected. That's what those people are there for. Likewise, if you look around, you are surrounded by a circle of individuals that love you. They are there to help in anyway they can. Sometimes you might need to reach out because we might do such a great job masking our messiness that our own tribe doesn't know we are struggling. Reach out, ask for help. You weren't made to do this thing all by yourself, friend.
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