Change.

John A. Simone, Sr. said, "If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change."

How true is this quote? I have been thinking about my life and where I stand lately as opposed to where I wish I was or thought I would be at this point in my life. And, I highly agree that change is inevitable.

Looking from my point of view when I was younger, I thought I would be just out of school and rolling in the dough by now because I think when you are young, you just don't realize how things really are. You don't realize the true depth of the bad parts of life like actually having to pay a house payment instead of go see the new movie everyone is raving about.. or going to work instead of the football game or the trip all your friends plan on attending. You look at those adults around you and think, "I'm not going to be anything like that." I remember looking at my mom and thinking to myself that she stresses out about housework waay too much and she cleaned waaay too much. It couldn't possibly be THAT bad to keep a household of four clean. I will be so different than she is. Wrong. I am learning the hard way that a family of only two adults make a very large mess and use too many dishes and way too much laundry than I can keep up with on my own sometimes (thanks to hubby, I manage to get it done.. but not all by myself 9x out of 10). On any given time, my floors are usually not mopped and sometimes not swept and the bed is only made when we think someone is coming to look at our house that is on the market. Has my point of view on life changed since I was living at home with my parents!

In PTA school, I looked ahead to getting out of school and going to work at a wonderful place where I would make soo much money I would never have to worry about needing money. I would be married to my husband, who would have a great job. One day, when we have kids, I would quit and stay at home with them while my husband supports us with his high-paying, flexible hours job. All would be well. Wrong! After having been married for right over a year and been out of school for about 4 months before then, I see there is no end in sight for work. I see that no matter how much you make, you could always stand to make a little more. Although I do like my job, there have been changes over the past year that have really opened my eyes. When I started at the clinic, I remember thinking this is too good to be true! Oh how right I actually was. My boss recently quit and the clinic is standing for some major change right now. I am stressed to the max and greatly miss the time with our old boss, when all seemed well. Although my husband likes his job (and I know that's very important), he is far from making the money it would take to support the 2 of us and all our bills any time in the future.

Change has been inevitable. But, right now, I am at a time in my life where I look around at all the things surrounding me, all the situations, and I long for change.

Change in my job. Although I love the people I work with. There is so much that needs to be done and so many situations that should be addressed now that we are bossless. Drama is nowhere close to describing what has been going on over the past 2 weeks.

Change in my marriage. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. We have a very blessed and amazing marriage. My husband is my soulmate and my best friend. He is very much the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. However- it is very, very tough to not get to see him except for on the weekends or when I get up with him when he gets home from work in the middle of the night from work. I read about my blog friends marriages and all the fun times, as well as listening to the stories about what coworkers and friends do on Friday nights or after work.. cooking meals together, talking and snuggling before they fall asleep in each other's arm, going to high school football games, you know all the small things you take for granted that you can do with your significant others.. and I just wish I could have more times like those.

Change in my church. Now, if you have heard any stories about my church family, you would know that we have been through our share of change over the past year.. BUT, I still think there is so much more to happen. More youth, more events, more revival.. more things to be had and experienced.

Change in my future. There is so much I want for myself and my present and future family. I want babies. I want my husband to go to school and get a job where he doesn't have to physical kill his body for just a decent paycheck. I want to sell the house that we live in and start to build the home of our dreams. There is so so much more that I will spare the details of, but there are a lot of things I wish could change soon.

However, if there is one thing I have learned, it would be that you can't hurry things. Change will come when it is time. I must stand strong that God has a plan and a purpose for my life and things will happen when they should. Frederick Douglass stated, "if there is not a struggle, there is not progress." If only I can hold on and stand strong through this valley in my life, it will one day turn around and I will be on the mountain looking down at the times when I was so down. In that case, change can't come soon enough.